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Get Off the People Pleasing Train!

Are you a people pleaser? Well, honestly, I can raise my hand on this one and say “yes” more times in my life than I would like to admit. I grew up in the South and the whole idea of hospitality and people pleasing seemed to be one and the same. I had to learn the hard way that the two were not synonymous. Being hospitable doesn’t mean living without boundaries or never saying “no.”

It’s so easy to become a people pleaser because after all we want people to like us. We don’t want to upset people or disappoint them etc. However, trying to please everyone is exhausting! I personally know it because I experienced it. When I was in my late 20’s I pastored a church and within a few short years I experienced severe burnout. The analysis that was given to me at that time was that I was in clinical burnout. The problem was I didn’t have a clue on how to do ministry or pace myself. I had terrible boundaries and didn’t say “no” like I should. The result was I was spent physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It took me a while to get my life in a better place and on a better track.

The problem with people pleasing is that it is not only exhausting, but you personally get left behind. You lose your way and your voice. The greatest lesson I learned during that time was that it really is OKAY to say the two-letter word “NO.” It was not only okay, but it was life changing when I did!

Here is the final thing to consider. In all reality probably not, everyone is going to like you. There will be people in life that no matter what you do it will not be good enough. You could stand on your head, and it won’t be good enough. So, the question becomes why do you want to stay on that train? Take it from me, getting off the people pleasing train is the best thing you will ever do for yourself and your confidence! It really is! My friend, you deserve to get your life back and love your life again. My advice to you is to get off the people pleasing train. I highly recommend it and I believe you will like it too!