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We know that bullying has become a real problem in the world. However, the bullying I want to talk about is self- bullying. I love this quote and the message is profound to me… “You have to win the war inside before you can win the war outside.”

As a life coach I am interested in people’s mindset and the way they think. Often what holds people back in life is more about the internal battle they deal with on a daily basis. To have any kind of success in life, you have to win the war inside of you before you can win the war outside of you. So self-bullying is a real roadblock that causes many to be stuck in life.

How do we stop the self-bullying and become our own best cheerleader or best friend? Well, let’s think about that for a moment. How do you talk to your best friend? How do you treat them? Wouldn’t you be there for them? Chances are you would be nice or kind to your friend. What about you? Would you talk to your friend the way you talk to yourself? Probably not.

If you are harder on yourself than your friends, you may be your own bully. At the end of the day, how is that helping you? What benefit is that to you? What advantage is there in beating yourself up?

We are human and we make mistakes. It’s okay to not be perfect. It really is. As long as we are breathing and living, we can always learn, grow, and keep moving forward. Extending grace to ourselves, forgiveness, and a little kindness is a big deal to our well-being.

If you are nicer to your friends than you are to yourself, then something is out of balance. Why not go in a different direction and learn to become your own best friend instead of your own worst critic? It requires some effort but I believe you are up for the challenge. If you were to talk to yourself like you do your friend, what would that look like and what would you say? Begin to challenge your own negativity. Step out of it a bit and encourage yourself.

I believe it is pretty important to be honest about our own self-bullying and, more importantly, to stop it. Success on the outside always starts on the inside. Today is as good day as any to start your turnaround. The best thing you and I can do for ourselves is to show ourselves a little kindness and grace. Challenge our inner gremlin and learn to become our own best friend and cheerleader!